So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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