Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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