it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
