i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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