I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
