Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
