Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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