Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
