but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
