yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Fuck appropriateness.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
