One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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