Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
