This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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