Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
