roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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