What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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