you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
