9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
