$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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