just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
