that's an acceptable place to lick
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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