haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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