Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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