I need to stop coming to work sober
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
