Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
