Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
