Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
