we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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