My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
