real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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