I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
