JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
