no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
