Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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