His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
