Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
