Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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