I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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