As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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