so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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