oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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