At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We left the knife in your bed.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
so much tequila, so little girl.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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