no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
