i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
