I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
