i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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