Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
