ya dads aren't the best wingmen
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I think my moral compass just broke
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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