I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
