This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
