he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
